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07/20/2003 Archived Entry: "For the children..."

Sooo, yeah...

Ummm, I managed to accomplish exactly jack over shit this weekend...which for me makes it pretty productive. I always start out with these grand plans of great things I'm going to accomplish, and then I never do any of them. It's the thought that counts right? For instance, I've been thinking about cleaning my room since about the end of May...still thinking about it.

I spent a lot of time drinking actually, as I have decided that I do enjoy Guinness Draught. I bought about 20 cans at Farm Fresh at different points over the weekend...think I have 12 or 13 left...and the night is still...well middle-aged.

The only real thing I did was got into a game of Warhammer 40k. A full summary of said game is after the cut for those who are frightfully bored.

Since I've mentioned both Warhammer and my lack of completing projects, it occurs to me I have a fuckton (yes, that's an actual unit of measure) of Games Workshop stuff. I was at World's Best again today to fix a game for the store owner (never hurts to be on their good side) and all I could come up with to buy was a paintbrush. I have every army I currently have an interest in, and most every one of those armies has everything that I really would like to use. The only possible exceptions are my Empire army and Cadian Imperial Guard. Of course, October/November will see the re-release of Epic 40k (big battles with little figures) and the Return of the King game. GW will do it's utmost to take my money I suppose.

Speaking of money, I appear to be getting more of that next paycheck. My boss went down to talk to HR about their lack of letting me know what the hell was going on and found they intended to give me what amounted to a 9% raise. Now, this is 3 times what the department as a whole is getting this year, but a pittance for what the job requires in comparison to my current (or previous I suppose) one (the new job is salaried and includes 24 hour call...those two probably will end up offsetting as I've already been informed I get to work on the 26th...oh yay oh yay). My boss smacked them about and got it to more like a 33% increase, which makes me much happier. Still sucky compared to what the private sector makes, but a very, very good paycheck for where I work. Plus, we've established that I'm not exactly starving at the moment.

So all in all, things seem to be ok...of course, that's life's way of setting you up for a sucker punch, isn't it? Well, we'll see...for those who are truly bored and want to read about Krinny's war effort, feel free.

So, the mission is what's called a "Cleanse"...basically the table is divided into quarters, each side starting in opposite corners. The side who can claim the most table quarters after six turns wins.

In the red corner, representing the Forces of Disorder, was the Burning Soul Kabal of the Dark Eldar. The opponent's in the blue corner, fighting for the Forces of Order, was Death Ranger Strike Force Omicron. The force outlays were as follows (numbers may be off...memory fuzzy):

Dark Eldar:
2 Ravager Gunships
Archon (leader) and 5 Incubi Bodyguards in Raider transport
50 warriors mounted in 5 Raiders
10 Wyches mounted in a raider
5 Jetbikes
10 Mandrakes

Space Marines:
Force Commander (leader)
Librarian (powerful psychic) with jump pack
8 Man assault squad with jump packs
27 Tactical Marines, including 2 missile launchers, 2 flamers and a lascannon
2 Dreadnoughts (big walkers)
2 Landspeeders
1 Landspeeder Typhoon (Speeder + big launcher basically)
Whirlwind Artillery Tank
Predator Annhilator with lascannon sponsons
Predator Destructor with heavy bolter sponsons

Started out with the Librarian, Typhoon and Assault Squad on the left flank. The right was anchored by the Force commander, a 10 man squad and the 2 other speeders. The center boasted both dreadnoughts, the Annhilator and a 10 man tactical squad. The remaining marines, Predator Destructor and Whirlwind in the rear support role.

The Marines stole the initiative and went first. They did an impressive amount of damage, downing 3 Raiders and 4 of the Jetbikes. The left flank swung out to begin taking that quarter while the right advanced just far enough to claim the quarter but keep a hefty building between them and the impressive amount of Dark Eldar firepower aimed at them. The Dark Eldar response was rather sparodic (since most of their troops were not in a position to do much), and they managed to strip the assault cannon off of one of the Dreadnoughts and down a Speeder, but that was about it.

The Marines continued to pound on the enemy, downing another Raider and one of the Ravagers. The Wyches took a fairly heavy amount of firepower, reducing their numbers to 4. The damaged dreadnought moved to support the right flank as the center seemed very, very empty. The Dark Eldar then swept around to attack the Librarian and his squad with a Raider and a combined force of 14 warriors. However, the Libarian and his men proved quite proficient and while they lost 5 of their number, they wiped out a squad of 10 Warriors and moved close to the remaining Ravager. The assault of the Wyches killed two marines, but then cost them 2 of their own. They ran away and never looked back. The Mandrakes appeared and pounced on the squad in the center, killing 4 marines in the initial charge. The marines brought down 2 in return.

Turn 3 brought about the destruction of two more raiders, leaving one on the extreme right as the only survivor. The Libarian and crew put to paid the remaining 4 warriors and the Ravager lost one of its 3 guns. The cannonless Dreadnought assaulted a squad advancing on the right flank and lost its powerfist. It was unable to club any Eldar with its ammo belts in that round. The Archon lost three of her Incubi to fire as they moved to engage the Librarian and remaining 2 marines. The Mandrakes brought down another pair of marines for the loss of one of them. The Dark Eldar succeeded in downing the 2nd Landspeeder in their shooting and immoblizing the 2nd Dreadnought (which hadn't moved the whole game anyway), and managed to kill the Librarian and marines in close combat while losing an Incubi in the exchange.

Turn 4 saw the center squad get wiped out in combat and the reserve squad get engaged. The Ravager had its remaining two guns destroyed, making it essentially useless. The final Raider was downed, and the entire 10 man squad aboard gunned down by concentrated bolter fire from the squad with the commander. The Warriors fighting the Dreadnought took a casuality, got scared and ran away. The Mandrakes killed 4 marines in the reserve squad in the ensuing turn and consolidated into the cover.

Turn 5 began with the Ravager being shot out of the sky (finally) and the mandrakes get gunned down by the Force Commander's squad (who had run out of targets to shoot at on the right). The last Incubi was laid low by the Annhilator. At this point, the game was conceded.

The final results:

Dark Eldar
1 Archon
1 Jetbike (ran away)
2 Wyches (ran away)
5 Warriors (running away with a Dreadnought chasing them yelling "I just want to hug you!")

Space Marines
1 Force Commander
11 Tactical Marines
Landspeeder Typhoon
Predator Annhilator
Predator Destructor
Whirlwind
2 Dreadnoughts

The marines controlled 3 table quarters, while the Dark Eldar could at best claim to contest the 4th, which made it a convincing victory for the forces of the Imperium.

As much as I would like to claim tactical genius as the cause of victory, it really boiled down to a few key elements. Killing off the Jetbikes in the first turn was probably the key to the battle. Had they not been dealt with, they would have attacked the squad in the middle, putting pressure on the center that would probably have tied the flank forces up. Then the Mandrakes could have been added to one of the flank attacks and probably punched a hole in the Marine lines. As it stands, the Marines held a rock-solid cordon on their own deployment zone that expanded to include the other quarters. MVP award goes to the Force Commander and his Tactical Squad. They held off the assault of 3 Raiders, 20 Warriors and 10 Wyches with minimal support and even managed to dispose of the Mandrakes (not that they had to, there was an incredible amount of firepower in the area). No unit really performed poorly, which is unusual...there's normally always that one.

If you've reached this point...you deserve a cookie or something...pity I have none to give you. So just be satisfied that you can read.

Replies: 1 Unclean Mutant

Good. Now try a REAL beer. Spatten Optimator. An excelent German Stout.

Posted by Bearclaw @ 07/23/2003 07:24 PM EST

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